Thanks, Claire! It's so fascinating to me how I tend not to be drawn to write about "friendship dramas," or friends in general, and yet my friends are so central to everything I do, everything I think about myself.
I read a piece a few years back about how we don't have many rituals around friendships--i.e., no weddings or divorces or funerals for them. They tend to appear and disappear in various ways.
A beautiful way to put it, Barbara. I suppose friendship is a different kind of romance. I'm especially interested in your word "choosing." Perhaps there's more choice in a friendship.
It’s so funny that you shared about this today! I have been thinking about writing about friendship, specifically the loss of a friend, for weeks now. I am finally mustering the courage to write about how quickly I can become a ghost of a friend. A thing I’m not particularly proud of about myself. Thank you for the nudge!
The photo prompt immediately took me back in time to a road trip I took my junior year with my high school sweetheart and his dad. We drove from Las Vegas, NV to Nashville, TN to Lansing, Michigan. The first stop in Nashville was to deliver a 1970s baby blue station wagon in exchange for a 1980s Ford pickup truck.
We arrived in Nashville by the light of the full moon.
We were greeted by ice and snow when we arrived in Lansing. My boyfriend and I had ridden in the back of the truck the entire way- half frozen by the time we got there.
On the way home we broke down at a truck stop in Lima, Ohio - for eight hours. We had no cell phones because it was 1996. We had to call people using the pay phone and none of us had change so we called collect long distance- my grandma later shared that the phone calls cost her $5 each!
Eventually my boyfriend and I were rescued from the never ending boredom of forever green fields by his aunt, who drove down from Michigan to pick us up and deliver us to the nearest airport. I’d never been so happy to go home in my entire life. I’m a happy road tripper as long as the car doesn’t break down.
Thanks for jogging loose that memory. I’ll be chuckling about it for the rest of the morning!
Yesterday I spent 7 hours driving from home, in Canada, to New Hope PA, here for the week with Heroic Public Speaking! Happy to say that, thanks to @MemoirNation I listened to Jeff Hiller’s book the entire way here. Was a delightful trip and happy to say I breezed across the border from Canada into the U.S.! I was entertained the entire time here with Jeff’s Memoir, so glad he’s the narrator. I laughed all the way here.
So many stories about challenges at the border and other than my red peppers being confiscated in a random border check, ( my carrot sticks were fine, no seeds!) a couple months ago, of my car, I was not fined the $200 that could have been levied (who knew?! obviously not me) had the inspector wanted. I thanked her profusely and then, was on my way.
Last 2 times across the border, including yesterday, I declare I have peanut butter, even though they don’t even ask, ahhh Canadians!!
The border guard laughs and tells me to have a good day! Thankfully.
Well done, you! As one who has retained a few friendships since kindergarten (that'd be 70+ years!) and lost a many old friends in ways both expected and unexpected, well---anymore, those left standing are as much family as are those with whom I have DNA in common.
Anyway, thanks for this, Grant. You've got me thinking about friendship rituals.
Thanks, Karen! Retaining a few friendships for 70+ years is huge! That's really beyond family. The unexpected loss of a good friend is so hard to understand. The vagaries of the human spirit ...
Beautiful piece, Grant!
I, too, feel blessed with friends (who I don’t see often enough) and would like to write more about what they mean in my life.
Thanks, Claire! It's so fascinating to me how I tend not to be drawn to write about "friendship dramas," or friends in general, and yet my friends are so central to everything I do, everything I think about myself.
I read a piece a few years back about how we don't have many rituals around friendships--i.e., no weddings or divorces or funerals for them. They tend to appear and disappear in various ways.
Sometimes I think friendship (true friendship) is the greatest of human relationships: two people choosing one another, allowing one another "in."
A beautiful way to put it, Barbara. I suppose friendship is a different kind of romance. I'm especially interested in your word "choosing." Perhaps there's more choice in a friendship.
Hey Grant, have you read the memoir Stay True by Hua Hsa? A lovely memoir about male friendship.
Oh, that's right. I haven't read it, but I heard him interviewed about it. I'll check it out.
Friends are soo important. And, parenthetically, I've just enrolled in Improv, had 2 classes. Ohmigod.
Good for you! I love improv as an art form. I took a class once, and ... you're right: it's no easy thing.
Well I just signed up for refresher Level 1 and later Level 2. Nuts!
Besties! Love this piece, Grant, and I appreciate your consistent dedication to this topic, and what a good friend you are, too!
Likewise! I cherish our friendship.
It’s so funny that you shared about this today! I have been thinking about writing about friendship, specifically the loss of a friend, for weeks now. I am finally mustering the courage to write about how quickly I can become a ghost of a friend. A thing I’m not particularly proud of about myself. Thank you for the nudge!
The photo prompt immediately took me back in time to a road trip I took my junior year with my high school sweetheart and his dad. We drove from Las Vegas, NV to Nashville, TN to Lansing, Michigan. The first stop in Nashville was to deliver a 1970s baby blue station wagon in exchange for a 1980s Ford pickup truck.
We arrived in Nashville by the light of the full moon.
We were greeted by ice and snow when we arrived in Lansing. My boyfriend and I had ridden in the back of the truck the entire way- half frozen by the time we got there.
On the way home we broke down at a truck stop in Lima, Ohio - for eight hours. We had no cell phones because it was 1996. We had to call people using the pay phone and none of us had change so we called collect long distance- my grandma later shared that the phone calls cost her $5 each!
Eventually my boyfriend and I were rescued from the never ending boredom of forever green fields by his aunt, who drove down from Michigan to pick us up and deliver us to the nearest airport. I’d never been so happy to go home in my entire life. I’m a happy road tripper as long as the car doesn’t break down.
Thanks for jogging loose that memory. I’ll be chuckling about it for the rest of the morning!
Thanks, Mesa! That sounds like an interesting angle—writing about your own ability to ghost. There is so much in that.
And ... what a road trip story! You rode in the back of the truck? Wow. This deserves an essay. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the encouragement. I can’t wait to write both :)
Hope you have a great day!!
Yesterday I spent 7 hours driving from home, in Canada, to New Hope PA, here for the week with Heroic Public Speaking! Happy to say that, thanks to @MemoirNation I listened to Jeff Hiller’s book the entire way here. Was a delightful trip and happy to say I breezed across the border from Canada into the U.S.! I was entertained the entire time here with Jeff’s Memoir, so glad he’s the narrator. I laughed all the way here.
So many stories about challenges at the border and other than my red peppers being confiscated in a random border check, ( my carrot sticks were fine, no seeds!) a couple months ago, of my car, I was not fined the $200 that could have been levied (who knew?! obviously not me) had the inspector wanted. I thanked her profusely and then, was on my way.
Last 2 times across the border, including yesterday, I declare I have peanut butter, even though they don’t even ask, ahhh Canadians!!
The border guard laughs and tells me to have a good day! Thankfully.
I'm so glad Jeff could make your drive "breezy"! Him reading the audio book is such a treat. He's such a treat. Thanks for reading and listening!
Well done, you! As one who has retained a few friendships since kindergarten (that'd be 70+ years!) and lost a many old friends in ways both expected and unexpected, well---anymore, those left standing are as much family as are those with whom I have DNA in common.
Anyway, thanks for this, Grant. You've got me thinking about friendship rituals.
Thanks, Karen! Retaining a few friendships for 70+ years is huge! That's really beyond family. The unexpected loss of a good friend is so hard to understand. The vagaries of the human spirit ...