Stephanie, thanks for your wonderfully encouraging words—they made my day! I would definitely like to publish a collection of these pieces someday. Thanks so much for asking about making a contribution. The Substack folks told me to send you this link: https://grantfaulkner.substack.com/subscribe
And ... thank God for Heather Cox Richardson! I love her.
Tried the link, but I'm already a-subscriber. I'll keep an eye out. If you add a "buy me a coffee" link or some such, I'll be one of the many to contribute. Many thanks.
This is so great. Loved your comments about isolation and togetherness, and I wonder if writers trend towards more isolation.
During the pandemic, humans had to redefine relationships, being together, feeling connected. As an introvert, I thought it would be easy for me to isolate, but after 4 months I started to feel too isolated. Now that things are safer, I’m so happy to see friends and family throughout the week, but I’m probably more introverted now than before the pandemic because I got used to it. Many people have shared with me that they are also more introverted than pre-2020.
Your comments about movies spoke to me. Watching the familiar and time-tested is so comforting. Some do it as a trauma response, others because of media and news exhaustion, others because, as you pointed out, there are new things to discover in something we’ve watched many times. I have a few favorites I cycle through (yes, Ordinary People! One of my faves!), and when I write memoir, I’ve gotten in the habit of always having something playing on silent on my projector screen. I recently wrote a short memoir about my relationship with the famous Seattle crows, and often had Hitchcock’s “The Birds” playing silently in the background (another favorite). Some movies feel so comforting to me they’re like old friends.
Yeah, I'm still reckoning with my post-pandemic self, who is different than my earlier self. I think my response to movies and need to rewatch is part of an exhaustion or response to stress. I find it fascinating because I've never experienced this before. Thank God for having so many of these movies at my fingertips, though, because they are valuable for the comfort they provide.
Grant, I love this post. You and I have an obsession with connection, yes? As you write in your post, another way to say this is "togetherness." The You/Me of it all, as the shoes say. As you say, "the collage of aloneness and togetherness." As I would say, the mandorla where you and me connect in the us. Adore this post, Grant.
Reading your incredibly thoughtful post, I was reminded that I am a "woman's woman" and I think a large part of that is the profound connection I felt with my grandmother and mother, and continue to feel with my small group of close friends. It's almost like life wouldn't be worth living without these connections.
Also, I realize through this lens that for my whole life books have been ways of connecting, of feeling a sense of belonging. Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, Little Women, all of Jane Austen, and more recently Harry Potter (not to mention the tv show Friends)--I return to them when I want to feel the comfort of connection and belonging, of sharing the same values.
I love your feeling of togetherness with a lineage of women, and your list of books you turn to for connection. I recently read that men tend not to be "joiners," and I think there's something in our culture that encourages them to be loners, or separate. I don't know. It's interesting for me to think about why I don't feel the same sort of lineage you do, which is perhaps one reason why I have relied on the togetherness I feel with artists, etc.
WOW, Grant. You always bring me to stuff and things I've never heard of like movies, books, poems by people I've never heard of like July, Danticat, Chassagnes. And you may be sure I click thru or go google it all. Confession, I wept watching the shoe scene. No nothing of the movie mor Miranda --- never heard of any of it; with no context at all that scene reduced me to tears.
Anyway, great post today-- as is customary with you.
Thanks so much for reading, Karen, and for all of your kind words. I hope you do check out Miranda July and Edwidge Danticat, etc. They are special creators. And ... every time I watch that scene, I tear up as well.
Please consider book, a pamphlet, etc of your substacks to sell. I would be thrilled(!) to purchase a few. This article put me in tears.
The only other writing I read is Heather Cox Richardson, letters from an American. Hers are history and current politics. Yours are life of the soul.
I'm grateful for your effort and how you inspire. Please think of adding a "contribution" link and count me in.
heathercoxrichardson@substack.com
Stephanie, thanks for your wonderfully encouraging words—they made my day! I would definitely like to publish a collection of these pieces someday. Thanks so much for asking about making a contribution. The Substack folks told me to send you this link: https://grantfaulkner.substack.com/subscribe
And ... thank God for Heather Cox Richardson! I love her.
Tried the link, but I'm already a-subscriber. I'll keep an eye out. If you add a "buy me a coffee" link or some such, I'll be one of the many to contribute. Many thanks.
This is so great. Loved your comments about isolation and togetherness, and I wonder if writers trend towards more isolation.
During the pandemic, humans had to redefine relationships, being together, feeling connected. As an introvert, I thought it would be easy for me to isolate, but after 4 months I started to feel too isolated. Now that things are safer, I’m so happy to see friends and family throughout the week, but I’m probably more introverted now than before the pandemic because I got used to it. Many people have shared with me that they are also more introverted than pre-2020.
Your comments about movies spoke to me. Watching the familiar and time-tested is so comforting. Some do it as a trauma response, others because of media and news exhaustion, others because, as you pointed out, there are new things to discover in something we’ve watched many times. I have a few favorites I cycle through (yes, Ordinary People! One of my faves!), and when I write memoir, I’ve gotten in the habit of always having something playing on silent on my projector screen. I recently wrote a short memoir about my relationship with the famous Seattle crows, and often had Hitchcock’s “The Birds” playing silently in the background (another favorite). Some movies feel so comforting to me they’re like old friends.
Thanks for this great piece.
Yeah, I'm still reckoning with my post-pandemic self, who is different than my earlier self. I think my response to movies and need to rewatch is part of an exhaustion or response to stress. I find it fascinating because I've never experienced this before. Thank God for having so many of these movies at my fingertips, though, because they are valuable for the comfort they provide.
Grant, I love this post. You and I have an obsession with connection, yes? As you write in your post, another way to say this is "togetherness." The You/Me of it all, as the shoes say. As you say, "the collage of aloneness and togetherness." As I would say, the mandorla where you and me connect in the us. Adore this post, Grant.
“The quest for togetherness shapes our lives even as we breathe our last breath alone.” This is so very beautiful Grant.
Thanks so much!
Reading your incredibly thoughtful post, I was reminded that I am a "woman's woman" and I think a large part of that is the profound connection I felt with my grandmother and mother, and continue to feel with my small group of close friends. It's almost like life wouldn't be worth living without these connections.
Also, I realize through this lens that for my whole life books have been ways of connecting, of feeling a sense of belonging. Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, Little Women, all of Jane Austen, and more recently Harry Potter (not to mention the tv show Friends)--I return to them when I want to feel the comfort of connection and belonging, of sharing the same values.
I love your feeling of togetherness with a lineage of women, and your list of books you turn to for connection. I recently read that men tend not to be "joiners," and I think there's something in our culture that encourages them to be loners, or separate. I don't know. It's interesting for me to think about why I don't feel the same sort of lineage you do, which is perhaps one reason why I have relied on the togetherness I feel with artists, etc.
WOW, Grant. You always bring me to stuff and things I've never heard of like movies, books, poems by people I've never heard of like July, Danticat, Chassagnes. And you may be sure I click thru or go google it all. Confession, I wept watching the shoe scene. No nothing of the movie mor Miranda --- never heard of any of it; with no context at all that scene reduced me to tears.
Anyway, great post today-- as is customary with you.
Thanks so much for reading, Karen, and for all of your kind words. I hope you do check out Miranda July and Edwidge Danticat, etc. They are special creators. And ... every time I watch that scene, I tear up as well.