1. Yes, I would subscribe to a substack on rejection.
2a. When I was fresh out of college, nearly 18 years ago, I had a novella that I sent to a literary advisor, and he read the whole thing. "Where's the hope," he said as I sat across the table. "It's post-apocalyptic... there isn't supposed to be hope." Being very new to the game, and my first query, it destroyed me, and that's when I decided I couldn't be a writer anymore. I'm just now trying to turn it around.
2b. At the San Francisco Writers conference a few years ago (where I had the profound pleasure of meeting you), I went to a pitch session with a publisher, and pitched my SciFi book to him. He looked at me, and said, "Why don't you go and write romance or fantasy? Women write that stuff. Not Science Fiction." That hurt, too, but I'm not yet ready to give up just yet.
As far as rejection goes, I've been rejected from jobs, gigs, and just life in general! Somedays, I feel like the queen of rejection! But, I'm still here, still learning, and still growing.
Grant's right! Atrocious and wrong! You might want to check out The Sitting Room Library. It's an archival library of women in literature, the arts, sciences, and more. Amazing stories of rejection by some of the best. Did you know Virginia Woolf actually went out of print? She had to be revived, as did many of our female literary giants.
Anyway, perhaps your book will be on the shelf of the Sitting Room one day.
In the olden days, one had to actually pay to get rejected, via a SASE (self addressed stamped envelope). Talk about deflating. AND, it took forever to find out your work was "unfortunately not...." Every year this writer would carefully study the latest edition of the annual Writer's Digest, package up her manuscripts, send off to editors and wait as much as 3-6 months for the manuscript to return with the rejection letter.
What I love about the Age of Technology & the internet, is one gets rejected ever so much quicker. The process is so efficient AND the opportunities are so much greater--both for rejection and acceptance. It is to me laughable how many rejections pile up in my e-mail,. Makes for a very thick skin. But you see, every so often there comes that joyous acceptance! And so --- we do persue.
WOh, btw -- I was corrected recently in a writing workshop. Editors no longer "reject" my work. They "decline" my work. Great euphemism, don't you think?
Grant, -- I love your idea of publishing your book via Substack. Great idea.
We're of the same era, Karen: to think of the toil that went into submissions. I hated them. And ... love the idea that rejection has gotten more efficient in our online age. Maybe we release the pain more quickly as well? I suppose "decline" makes everyone feel better, but a rejeciton is a rejection. That's how it feels. Thanks so much for the encouragement to Substack the book. I just might. Stay tuned ...
For me it's been exactly 1 year of being in the query trenches. I get by by embracing parts of the journey like researching potential agents - I'm slightly addicted. Your words and ideas help too!
Thanks so much, Sydnye! I love that as a rejection solace technique: to recognize and embrace what you're learning about the whole process (and it is fun to know all of the players). Keep submitting!
Specifically remembering a time a speaker held the deeply focused attention of a diverse auditorium as he spoke about rejection. It’s one of those topics, don’t be swayed.
I think it's important to remember the writer is not being rejected personally. It's a matter of "this piece is not right for us at this time." At least, that's what I tell myself.
I'm glad you talk about self-rejection here. It doesn't get talked about enough, but it's one of the most powerful kinds of rejection I've seen in my own life and in the lives of other writers I know. Even knowing how limiting this attitude can be, I still have to remind myself not to self-reject.
Put the work out there, come what may. It's the only way to get better.
Thanks, Chris. I think that middle path is where I spend a lot of my time, haha. I'm at a writing conference now, and several writers and I thought a good event would be "who has been rejected the most" or "worst rejection story" or both. There are some doozie rejection stories, to be sure.
A rejection story that feels like sweet revenge. A poem I wrote that riffed on a scene from Romeo and Juliet was returned by one of my early MFA advisors with the brief comment: "No, just no!" That same poem was also the first I published in any lit mag ever. With. Absolutely. No Revisions.
Incidentally, the title poem of my MFA manuscript is still waiting for a home after two years and dozens of rejections. I was absolutely thrilled last year to receive a personalized rejection from the editor of a major pub letting me know they had pushed for it but it hadn't made it through the editorial committee vote. I treasure that personalized rejection more than some of my acceptances.
I know what you mean by the treasured "almosts." I think every author should make up a resume of them, with a little story about each one, like the one about the note from the editor of the major pub. There's something about being on the edge of possibility that can be immensely satisfying (yet frustrating).
A few answers...
1. Yes, I would subscribe to a substack on rejection.
2a. When I was fresh out of college, nearly 18 years ago, I had a novella that I sent to a literary advisor, and he read the whole thing. "Where's the hope," he said as I sat across the table. "It's post-apocalyptic... there isn't supposed to be hope." Being very new to the game, and my first query, it destroyed me, and that's when I decided I couldn't be a writer anymore. I'm just now trying to turn it around.
2b. At the San Francisco Writers conference a few years ago (where I had the profound pleasure of meeting you), I went to a pitch session with a publisher, and pitched my SciFi book to him. He looked at me, and said, "Why don't you go and write romance or fantasy? Women write that stuff. Not Science Fiction." That hurt, too, but I'm not yet ready to give up just yet.
As far as rejection goes, I've been rejected from jobs, gigs, and just life in general! Somedays, I feel like the queen of rejection! But, I'm still here, still learning, and still growing.
Thanks so much, Elizabeth! I'm working up some ideas for a possible Substack, which might be better than a book anyway.
Your experiences in 2a and 2b are just atrocious—and wrong! Especially 2b. To hell with him. He shouldn't even be in the business.
Keep the faith. I'm glad you're still there, learning and growing. That's what we all have to do.
what the heck with 2b! what's wrong with that publisher??
Grant's right! Atrocious and wrong! You might want to check out The Sitting Room Library. It's an archival library of women in literature, the arts, sciences, and more. Amazing stories of rejection by some of the best. Did you know Virginia Woolf actually went out of print? She had to be revived, as did many of our female literary giants.
Anyway, perhaps your book will be on the shelf of the Sitting Room one day.
#2 Jerk!
In the olden days, one had to actually pay to get rejected, via a SASE (self addressed stamped envelope). Talk about deflating. AND, it took forever to find out your work was "unfortunately not...." Every year this writer would carefully study the latest edition of the annual Writer's Digest, package up her manuscripts, send off to editors and wait as much as 3-6 months for the manuscript to return with the rejection letter.
What I love about the Age of Technology & the internet, is one gets rejected ever so much quicker. The process is so efficient AND the opportunities are so much greater--both for rejection and acceptance. It is to me laughable how many rejections pile up in my e-mail,. Makes for a very thick skin. But you see, every so often there comes that joyous acceptance! And so --- we do persue.
WOh, btw -- I was corrected recently in a writing workshop. Editors no longer "reject" my work. They "decline" my work. Great euphemism, don't you think?
Grant, -- I love your idea of publishing your book via Substack. Great idea.
We're of the same era, Karen: to think of the toil that went into submissions. I hated them. And ... love the idea that rejection has gotten more efficient in our online age. Maybe we release the pain more quickly as well? I suppose "decline" makes everyone feel better, but a rejeciton is a rejection. That's how it feels. Thanks so much for the encouragement to Substack the book. I just might. Stay tuned ...
Every post you write is worthwhile
Thanks so much, Stephanie!
Loved this and your Write Minded episode. DO NOT give up on your book about rejection because SO many of us need/want to read it!!
Thanks, Christy! I'll keep it in motion ...
For me it's been exactly 1 year of being in the query trenches. I get by by embracing parts of the journey like researching potential agents - I'm slightly addicted. Your words and ideas help too!
Thanks so much, Sydnye! I love that as a rejection solace technique: to recognize and embrace what you're learning about the whole process (and it is fun to know all of the players). Keep submitting!
Specifically remembering a time a speaker held the deeply focused attention of a diverse auditorium as he spoke about rejection. It’s one of those topics, don’t be swayed.
Thanks for the encouragement!
I think it's important to remember the writer is not being rejected personally. It's a matter of "this piece is not right for us at this time." At least, that's what I tell myself.
Absolutely, Marlene. That's the best way to think of it.
I'm glad you talk about self-rejection here. It doesn't get talked about enough, but it's one of the most powerful kinds of rejection I've seen in my own life and in the lives of other writers I know. Even knowing how limiting this attitude can be, I still have to remind myself not to self-reject.
Put the work out there, come what may. It's the only way to get better.
I agree: self-rejection is the worst kind of rejection in the end.
Just got two rejections this week, so this was timely. Oh, who am I kidding? It's timely more often than not!
Haha, it's generally timely for a writer. Rejection is a little like rain in Portland. Almost always falling. Hang in there!
"We must learn how to develop a “rejection mindset.” YES!
This is so helpful! Seeing that rejection - or also, criticism - can be an opportunity to go further or deeper with your work. I needed that now!
1. Yes, I’d subscribe. 2. Somewhere between “rejection is protection” and “sour grapes” lies the middle path I seek.
Thanks, Chris. I think that middle path is where I spend a lot of my time, haha. I'm at a writing conference now, and several writers and I thought a good event would be "who has been rejected the most" or "worst rejection story" or both. There are some doozie rejection stories, to be sure.
Man, I’d love to hear them
The worst are "complimentary" rejections. My favorite: "I love this book. Let me say it again. I love this book." But...
Maybe I should change my title to "I love this, but ..."
Also: "Thank you for submitting....."
We should make t-shirts with this on it.
A rejection story that feels like sweet revenge. A poem I wrote that riffed on a scene from Romeo and Juliet was returned by one of my early MFA advisors with the brief comment: "No, just no!" That same poem was also the first I published in any lit mag ever. With. Absolutely. No Revisions.
Incidentally, the title poem of my MFA manuscript is still waiting for a home after two years and dozens of rejections. I was absolutely thrilled last year to receive a personalized rejection from the editor of a major pub letting me know they had pushed for it but it hadn't made it through the editorial committee vote. I treasure that personalized rejection more than some of my acceptances.
I know what you mean by the treasured "almosts." I think every author should make up a resume of them, with a little story about each one, like the one about the note from the editor of the major pub. There's something about being on the edge of possibility that can be immensely satisfying (yet frustrating).