I should have mentioned in this piece that one reason I broached this question today is that I've been struggling to decide if the memoir I've been writing (okay, dabbling might be the better word) matters. By not believing in my story as strongly as I could, by not fully committing myself to it, I'm holding myself back in all of the ways I list in this article.
I think that every writer faces this question in some way every day, even on the good days. It's a pernicious beast.
I get your reasoning, which is shared by memoirists, but . . . memoir writers get into their heads, a lot, about their books they're writing, starting to write, or thinking about writing. I certainly did. But what I learned after all the years post memoir, was that it was my first book, of my writing, that I wrote, that I wanted to share. The book mattered because I mattered. And all memoir writers matter!
Love those mannequins! One reason I believe in my story: it won’t go away…it permeates everything I write: poetry, essay, short story, flash fiction, prompt responses and writing riffs. And one reason I believe in myself… this is harder…because my story won’t give up on me? And the more I wrestle with it…no, that’s not right. The more I let it breathe, sit with it, listen to it (without trying to shut it down or twist it into an idea instead of a feeling) the more I understand what it’s trying to speak.
This is beautiful, Suzanne. I love the way your story permeates everything—and bolsters you. I also love the idea of letting it breathe instead of wrestling with it. Wrestling with anything rarely moves it forward.
As a memoir teacher, one of the ways I combat this is to teach memoir in community. In my long-term courses, everyone has a group of three other writers plus me who comment on their work. Part of those comments are responding to the questions: what you relate to and what are you curious about? It’s amazing how hearing that from other writers (who are your earliest beta readers) can bolster your belief in the worth of your own story. I guess it’s just basic psychology. For a baby to know it matters, they need mirroring from a parent. For a memoirist to know their story matters, mirroring is also priceless.
I believe in my story because when I have tried to ignore it, it bangs on my brain until I pay attention and write more of it down. I believe in my story because there are truths in it that need telling. For years, I fought imposter syndrome. Now, I know that during those years I was learning HOW to write a book. I hadn’t actually written it yet. Now, I know how. A little. And every day that I sit down to write it, it is better.
How great, to feel it getting better every day, and to have it "bang on your brain" if you haven't attended to it. I hope it keeps banging! In the best of ways ...
This definitely gives me something to think about. I’m writing memoir in tiny fragments, and while I believe in each individual fragment, I’m not sure how much I believe in the whole. As for believing in myself, that, I don’t know. I struggle to think I’m in any way important.
I relate as well. I'm writing my memoir in fragments as well, and one challenge of that approach is how do they speak to each other, how do they fit together? It's challenging. Keep believing. If the individual fragments are strong, my guess is they work together as a whole as well—or you'll make them work together ... through your belief!
I've read the comments before posting and would say that I agree with all of them. I have to write my story because it pops up in everything I write whether flash fiction, poetry or short stories. There it is looking back at me.
And I do also have to write it because like the EE Cummings quote I have fought my way up to being me and nobody else but me and I want to tell that tale.
I love this, Diane, and what others have written: the idea that your story is a force that "looks back" at you. It's not going away. In fact, it's asking for attention. Keep writing!
I wrestle with myself about whether a creative nonfiction book MATTERS. If someone else wrote about what I'm targeting I wouldn't question it. Interesting.
Believing that whatever I want to write about— my story, essentially!— is “worth anyone’s time” is a struggle for me. Why should anyone care?
But then when I let that question win, I end up upset with myself when I read others’ work. Because: what if THEY had given in to that same demon? Their great book wouldn’t be sitting right there in my hands.
This is so important. For decades I wrote and stuffed it in a drawer. Now, nearly 60, I'm getting my work published. Self-doubt stole so many years from me.
Hi Judy, I'm sorry, but I actually don't have any access to the subscription part of Substack. Maybe check your settings to see if you can access subscriptions there? I know it can be complex. You could probably contact their customer service as well.
I should have mentioned in this piece that one reason I broached this question today is that I've been struggling to decide if the memoir I've been writing (okay, dabbling might be the better word) matters. By not believing in my story as strongly as I could, by not fully committing myself to it, I'm holding myself back in all of the ways I list in this article.
I think that every writer faces this question in some way every day, even on the good days. It's a pernicious beast.
I get your reasoning, which is shared by memoirists, but . . . memoir writers get into their heads, a lot, about their books they're writing, starting to write, or thinking about writing. I certainly did. But what I learned after all the years post memoir, was that it was my first book, of my writing, that I wrote, that I wanted to share. The book mattered because I mattered. And all memoir writers matter!
Love those mannequins! One reason I believe in my story: it won’t go away…it permeates everything I write: poetry, essay, short story, flash fiction, prompt responses and writing riffs. And one reason I believe in myself… this is harder…because my story won’t give up on me? And the more I wrestle with it…no, that’s not right. The more I let it breathe, sit with it, listen to it (without trying to shut it down or twist it into an idea instead of a feeling) the more I understand what it’s trying to speak.
This is beautiful, Suzanne. I love the way your story permeates everything—and bolsters you. I also love the idea of letting it breathe instead of wrestling with it. Wrestling with anything rarely moves it forward.
As a memoir teacher, one of the ways I combat this is to teach memoir in community. In my long-term courses, everyone has a group of three other writers plus me who comment on their work. Part of those comments are responding to the questions: what you relate to and what are you curious about? It’s amazing how hearing that from other writers (who are your earliest beta readers) can bolster your belief in the worth of your own story. I guess it’s just basic psychology. For a baby to know it matters, they need mirroring from a parent. For a memoirist to know their story matters, mirroring is also priceless.
Love this! Your question and the mirroring. You're right: we all need it.
I believe in my story because when I have tried to ignore it, it bangs on my brain until I pay attention and write more of it down. I believe in my story because there are truths in it that need telling. For years, I fought imposter syndrome. Now, I know that during those years I was learning HOW to write a book. I hadn’t actually written it yet. Now, I know how. A little. And every day that I sit down to write it, it is better.
How great, to feel it getting better every day, and to have it "bang on your brain" if you haven't attended to it. I hope it keeps banging! In the best of ways ...
Thanks!
This definitely gives me something to think about. I’m writing memoir in tiny fragments, and while I believe in each individual fragment, I’m not sure how much I believe in the whole. As for believing in myself, that, I don’t know. I struggle to think I’m in any way important.
I relate as well. I'm writing my memoir in fragments as well, and one challenge of that approach is how do they speak to each other, how do they fit together? It's challenging. Keep believing. If the individual fragments are strong, my guess is they work together as a whole as well—or you'll make them work together ... through your belief!
I relate, relate, & relate!
There's two kinds. Those who want to be like everyone else, and the handful who don't. The handful are the ones I want to read
Me too!
I've read the comments before posting and would say that I agree with all of them. I have to write my story because it pops up in everything I write whether flash fiction, poetry or short stories. There it is looking back at me.
And I do also have to write it because like the EE Cummings quote I have fought my way up to being me and nobody else but me and I want to tell that tale.
I love this, Diane, and what others have written: the idea that your story is a force that "looks back" at you. It's not going away. In fact, it's asking for attention. Keep writing!
I wrestle with myself about whether a creative nonfiction book MATTERS. If someone else wrote about what I'm targeting I wouldn't question it. Interesting.
Believing that whatever I want to write about— my story, essentially!— is “worth anyone’s time” is a struggle for me. Why should anyone care?
But then when I let that question win, I end up upset with myself when I read others’ work. Because: what if THEY had given in to that same demon? Their great book wouldn’t be sitting right there in my hands.
This is so important. For decades I wrote and stuffed it in a drawer. Now, nearly 60, I'm getting my work published. Self-doubt stole so many years from me.
I'm so glad you came through the other side of self-doubt! Congrats on getting your work published as well!
Grant ; to find it you need to go to Support
there is no customer service category , at least not that I could see
Hi Grant , there is actually a section on substack for exactly what I asked -how to refund a subscription and refund prorated .
so I m asking again for refund , to from the paid subscription
Hi Grant, I could not reach you through the gmail address
I missed the opportunity to cancel my subscription ,I mean not renew to Substack, so would like to now and get a refund,(prorated if you want) .
Substack is so very complex to manoevre through for my 80 year ol brain.
my paid subscription is through judyarcher77@icloud.com
thanks for what you do, just way too short of time to read it all
Hi Judy, I'm sorry, but I actually don't have any access to the subscription part of Substack. Maybe check your settings to see if you can access subscriptions there? I know it can be complex. You could probably contact their customer service as well.
Hi Grant, I checked out in the Writer section, under support for the exact question I had - How to cancel a subscription and issue a refund.
so I am asking again :I would like to cancel my paid subscription and get a prorated refund .