Great dive into listening here Grant! It made me think of what parents basically have to do every day with their kids. Kids say so many things and as a parent you’ve got to make sure you spend time and energy and focus to capture it all. Sometimes the loudest things they’re saying are the things they don’t say at all.
You're right about parents and kids. I sometimes wonder just what I've truly heard or missed with my kids. Love this: "Sometimes the loudest things they’re saying are the things they don’t say at all."
Finished reading THE THIRD EAR and have recommended it to half a dozen writers. Rosner's first book is also one I took to heart and keep recommending to readers. Now I'm going to take a listen to this episode of the podcast. Thanks!
That's so great to hear, Jill! That's so great you've already read Liz's book—and have recommended it to writers. It's definitely a good resource for writer's third ears...
Reading this edition of your newsletter, I couldn’t help but think that much of America has chosen not to listen. What happens when we don’t listen? There are so many stories about not being heard.
Agreed. We're in a dangerous place—which really shows the power of stories, and how not listening can drive us apart. Book bans, for example, are a form of not listening.
When a parent says to a child, “You don’t listen,” they really mean, “You don’t obey.” We deeply serve another when we listen. It takes maturity. I think many don’t listen because they lack the capacity to act on what they might hear—whether it’s a critique, a call to action, or a disruptive idea that shatters their illusions…
Yes! Thank you for posting this important concept. I like to practice being present. It's refreshing for me to "just listen" with no agenda, no planning what I'm going to say next. I especially like, "actually find the latter to be the more enjoyable state, not only because I’m opening myself up to curiosity and wonder, but also because the need to speak is so centered on me, and listening really is an act of surrender, a giving up of the ego."
Yes to all of this. I especially love: We live in the gaps between people, but we seek cohesion, completeness, and therein the drama lies.
Thanks, Barbara! Those nettlesome (but dramatic) gaps ....
This reminds me of "STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut" by Dan Lyons. An easy but deeply insightful read. Borrowed it on Libby without a wait.
Thanks, Amanda. I'll check out STFU.
You might like The Listening Book, by W.A. Mathieu. This is one of my favorite topics! I use listening exercises in writing workshop, too.
Cool! Thanks for the recommendation! I'll check out The Listening Book ...
And I think that both listening and writing calls on the same need to focus and to be patient.
Love your connection to patience for both.
Learning to keep my 3rd ear open, looking forward to listening to the podcast! Great and necessary read 🙏☺️
Thank you. I needed to “hear” this today.
I saved this to listen to the podcast later. I just loved this post. How often I tune out when there are symphonies to listen to.
Thanks so much, LeeAnn! Here's to finding ways to listen to all of the symphonies around us!
Great dive into listening here Grant! It made me think of what parents basically have to do every day with their kids. Kids say so many things and as a parent you’ve got to make sure you spend time and energy and focus to capture it all. Sometimes the loudest things they’re saying are the things they don’t say at all.
You're right about parents and kids. I sometimes wonder just what I've truly heard or missed with my kids. Love this: "Sometimes the loudest things they’re saying are the things they don’t say at all."
Finished reading THE THIRD EAR and have recommended it to half a dozen writers. Rosner's first book is also one I took to heart and keep recommending to readers. Now I'm going to take a listen to this episode of the podcast. Thanks!
That's so great to hear, Jill! That's so great you've already read Liz's book—and have recommended it to writers. It's definitely a good resource for writer's third ears...
Great conversation with Liz on the podcast.
Reading this edition of your newsletter, I couldn’t help but think that much of America has chosen not to listen. What happens when we don’t listen? There are so many stories about not being heard.
Agreed. We're in a dangerous place—which really shows the power of stories, and how not listening can drive us apart. Book bans, for example, are a form of not listening.
It’s more than not listening, right? It’s silencing. And it’s depressing.
When a parent says to a child, “You don’t listen,” they really mean, “You don’t obey.” We deeply serve another when we listen. It takes maturity. I think many don’t listen because they lack the capacity to act on what they might hear—whether it’s a critique, a call to action, or a disruptive idea that shatters their illusions…
Interesting. We selectively listen. Or selectively don't listen. I think you're right.
This episode with Liz was such a treat. Thanks for these beautiful insights, Grant.
Yes! Thank you for posting this important concept. I like to practice being present. It's refreshing for me to "just listen" with no agenda, no planning what I'm going to say next. I especially like, "actually find the latter to be the more enjoyable state, not only because I’m opening myself up to curiosity and wonder, but also because the need to speak is so centered on me, and listening really is an act of surrender, a giving up of the ego."