To go along with your advice to "Make an annual goal to collect ___ number of rejections," may I recommend a book entitled "Go for No! Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There," by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz? It is a business parable written for professional salespeople, and that is one of the hats an author must wear. It is well-written, quite accessible, and really supports y our idea, although they break it down by week rather than by year. https://amzn.to/3EiKUT7
When I was a young writer--I started out as a poet, in the days when you'd stuff an envelope with your stuff, wait for months, get your rejection, send out again--I'd look at so-called little magazines and see some pretty mediocre writing, and I'd think, well goddamn, my writing's pretty mediocre, why isn't it being published? This went on for quite some time.
Then I had a mentor who said, David, why don't you write a story. So I wrote a story and showed it to him; he said write another. I wrote another. Eventually, I sent them out and the first half dozen got published, which more or less astonished my mentor--and, of course, me. The years passed. I published a collection of stories with a university press, then another with Ecco, then another with Scribner. Do I have a point here? Yes, actually three points:
a) Yes, persistence in the face of failure is crucial--but it has to be coupled with insight, with lessons learned, with the understanding that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome is one definition of ignorance.
b) In our era--or let's say your era because I'm older than dirt--there are vastly more writers than prestigious places to publish--editors are swamped, as are agents (nowadays it's as hard to get an agent as it is to get published). Which leads to two things: a plethora of new publishing venues most of which go unseen by almost everybody in the world, and lots of disappointed/frustrated/depressed writers . . . some of whom give up, some of whom do not. So, the acknowledgment of rejection's ubiquity and thoughts about how to survive it and helpful/therapeutic comments can lead to actions that let you get out of the whirlpool you're stuck in.
But, c) The hardest truth: If you write excellently then do a reasonable amount of work toward putting the work out, it will be published. Does the cream rise to the top? Despite all the exceptions we can all come up with, the answer is yes. Most of the people not getting published are OK writers. At the same time, most are not really excellent, really original, really smart, really compelling writers. This is a very hard truth to absorb. It's easy to get caught up in the idea that the trouble's all on the editor/publisher side of the equation--because it's true, things in the publishing world are not good, not fair, not responsive-enough. But the ultimate answer is to write in a way that excites the minds of other people. Wanting to be a writer isn't enough. Write writing that is as excellent as your best models. I realize that whoever reads this will have harsh things to say to me--maybe about "excellence" being elitist or undefined or old-fashioned or whatever. I get it. But it's a quality to pervades powerful art. Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Suites have excellence, but so does Nirvana (sometimes at least)--the genre doesn't matter. OK, I'll stop. I once saw a sign stenciled on a concrete wall (in Iceland) that said: DO EPIC SHIT. That's it. Do epic shit.
Thanks so much for this wise post, David! These three points are really all one needs to know. And to Do Epic Shit, no matter in what form of art, no matter what genre, because that really means to create boldly to me, to push the boundaries of your expression. Which might be a point no. 4: If you write the story you want to write, the way you want to write it, then the sting of rejection might lessen, just because you told your truth.
I find it’s the thing that I’m being rejected for that activates different emotions in me. Rejection for my writing, or any thing that is something I’ve created, performed, task completed, pushes me harder. It’s almost like a “I’ll show you” type of thing. I become more determined and more stubborn and I knuckle down and work hard to improve.
If I’m rejected for who I am, and I feel like it’s a core essence of my very being type of thing . . .that’s not something I can change about myself. I can’t study to get better. The very core of who I am was rejected. That sends me into a spiral of negative thoughts. I still am working on making a protective blanket I can wrap around myself to cope better with this.
In addition to the cartoons, the interview was great---and it's true: this is a field where rejection is guaranteed. So often you have to carve a route back to believing in the work. Thanks, Grant!
Thanks for listening, Thaisa! Sometimes I'm like .. why did we purposefully choose to amplify the amount of rejection in our lives? Why didn't I just work a more regular job and watch sports on the weekend?
To go along with your advice to "Make an annual goal to collect ___ number of rejections," may I recommend a book entitled "Go for No! Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There," by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz? It is a business parable written for professional salespeople, and that is one of the hats an author must wear. It is well-written, quite accessible, and really supports y our idea, although they break it down by week rather than by year. https://amzn.to/3EiKUT7
Thanks for the recommendation, Donn! Sounds like the perfect "rejection mindset" training, and I love the phrase "No is how you get there."
Good advice. I'm late to this party but would add not to take on impossible markets. For instance, The New Yorker
Good tip!
When I was a young writer--I started out as a poet, in the days when you'd stuff an envelope with your stuff, wait for months, get your rejection, send out again--I'd look at so-called little magazines and see some pretty mediocre writing, and I'd think, well goddamn, my writing's pretty mediocre, why isn't it being published? This went on for quite some time.
Then I had a mentor who said, David, why don't you write a story. So I wrote a story and showed it to him; he said write another. I wrote another. Eventually, I sent them out and the first half dozen got published, which more or less astonished my mentor--and, of course, me. The years passed. I published a collection of stories with a university press, then another with Ecco, then another with Scribner. Do I have a point here? Yes, actually three points:
a) Yes, persistence in the face of failure is crucial--but it has to be coupled with insight, with lessons learned, with the understanding that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome is one definition of ignorance.
b) In our era--or let's say your era because I'm older than dirt--there are vastly more writers than prestigious places to publish--editors are swamped, as are agents (nowadays it's as hard to get an agent as it is to get published). Which leads to two things: a plethora of new publishing venues most of which go unseen by almost everybody in the world, and lots of disappointed/frustrated/depressed writers . . . some of whom give up, some of whom do not. So, the acknowledgment of rejection's ubiquity and thoughts about how to survive it and helpful/therapeutic comments can lead to actions that let you get out of the whirlpool you're stuck in.
But, c) The hardest truth: If you write excellently then do a reasonable amount of work toward putting the work out, it will be published. Does the cream rise to the top? Despite all the exceptions we can all come up with, the answer is yes. Most of the people not getting published are OK writers. At the same time, most are not really excellent, really original, really smart, really compelling writers. This is a very hard truth to absorb. It's easy to get caught up in the idea that the trouble's all on the editor/publisher side of the equation--because it's true, things in the publishing world are not good, not fair, not responsive-enough. But the ultimate answer is to write in a way that excites the minds of other people. Wanting to be a writer isn't enough. Write writing that is as excellent as your best models. I realize that whoever reads this will have harsh things to say to me--maybe about "excellence" being elitist or undefined or old-fashioned or whatever. I get it. But it's a quality to pervades powerful art. Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Suites have excellence, but so does Nirvana (sometimes at least)--the genre doesn't matter. OK, I'll stop. I once saw a sign stenciled on a concrete wall (in Iceland) that said: DO EPIC SHIT. That's it. Do epic shit.
Thanks so much for this wise post, David! These three points are really all one needs to know. And to Do Epic Shit, no matter in what form of art, no matter what genre, because that really means to create boldly to me, to push the boundaries of your expression. Which might be a point no. 4: If you write the story you want to write, the way you want to write it, then the sting of rejection might lessen, just because you told your truth.
Start a Substack and put all your rejected work up there.
I like it!
A rejection playlist- what a great idea!
I have to give credit to one of my students for that one!
I find it’s the thing that I’m being rejected for that activates different emotions in me. Rejection for my writing, or any thing that is something I’ve created, performed, task completed, pushes me harder. It’s almost like a “I’ll show you” type of thing. I become more determined and more stubborn and I knuckle down and work hard to improve.
If I’m rejected for who I am, and I feel like it’s a core essence of my very being type of thing . . .that’s not something I can change about myself. I can’t study to get better. The very core of who I am was rejected. That sends me into a spiral of negative thoughts. I still am working on making a protective blanket I can wrap around myself to cope better with this.
Good distinctions, Catharina. There's nothing worse than feeling rejected for who you are--and that's the hardest kind of rejection to get over.
Thank you! So great! And who did that cartoon? I see the appreciations below. It's wonderful.
Thanks, Amanda! The people at the podcast made the cartoon. I really like it as well!
Wow. Hella podcast! Will listen.
In addition to the cartoons, the interview was great---and it's true: this is a field where rejection is guaranteed. So often you have to carve a route back to believing in the work. Thanks, Grant!
Thanks for listening, Thaisa! Sometimes I'm like .. why did we purposefully choose to amplify the amount of rejection in our lives? Why didn't I just work a more regular job and watch sports on the weekend?
These cartoons really draw me in!
Oh, good! I was very pleased they made them.