Thank you, Grant! Such a compassionate and thoughtful and WISE post. As a writer with a lot of trauma still working through (a life long journey) who often struggles with getting pen to the page, this post is a comfort and balm.
Hi Grant. Thank you for bringing attention to trauma and writing. Trauma is such a slippery, shapeshifting thing to me. It's invisible. It grows and then shrinks. It has a cycle. Some days are better than others. After about eight years after my dad died, I started tugging on the thread of where my grief came from and I discovered that I was born into grief as my mom was pregnant with me when her father was dying of cancer. And in fact she had me in the same hospital where he was being treated. I then went back centuries and found that I have a a 10x great grand mother who was killed during the Salem Witch Trials. Grief and trauma are like invisible participants in our lives. They can also change DNA. But as you recognized, the trauma needs to be acknowledged. And that might never happen in a person's lifetime and that's okay. My grief and trauma and pushing me in the direction of offering my experiences to others. I have been in the process of finding my voice and my words when I get into the background of my experiences. I want to offer my experience to others. Show that happy moments in the time after losing your intimate family members is possible. There is a lot to unpack. I went on a journey to find a system that would help me make sense of my life and what I found is the best system can be the one that someone creates for themselves. This particular thread led me to discovering not just one but two grad programs that can support my writing practice and help my words to be expressed.
The time we live in right now is quite interesting. There are people who are experiencing trauma and grief due to covid. My experience is comparable in that my parents both passed after illness but both were gone in the early 2010s (2010 for my mom and 2013 for my dad respectfully). I think right now I can be of assistance as people discover their 'new normal.'
Thanks so much for sharing this, Jennifer. Your description of trauma seems spot-on to me. I don't entirely believe that time heals all wounds. It's just a vessel for them to change shapes in, as you mention. Grief isn't linear, it spirals. Also, I've read about how trauma is cellular and can be passed down. Fascinating to consider. A type of ghost.
Time is timey wimey and does not heal anything. Time is also a human construct. We have to begin to consider our place in the universe and in what humans consider a timeline. And then there are some people who do not experience time linearly, either. I mean, look at Slaughterhouse 5 for a literary example. But also think about this: the act of reading a book or a story is a form of time travel. It takes you back to the moments where the author was channeling the work, to when editors were editing the work, to even when authors are revising the work even years after publication. I once saw poet Donald Hall at UCR Writers Week and he told us how he was reading a revised version of his poem. He then showed us his notated copy. Even published poems can evolve and change.
This plays interesting to trauma, grief, and our memories. What if we can revise our experiences? Affect our past selves? We spend a lot of time thinking in what ifs in the future, and what ifs in the past, but what about taking action in the present to affect both the past and the present (look at Quantum Leap (the new and old series) and Disney's Loki for examples of this in television.) Given how time is actually and not what humans think it to be. This has played into my research on Synchronicity and how it can be constructed under physics and quantum entanglement. Also when you are looking for the things that "speak" to you in your interests and what you notice in your day to day life, you may find that you have more influence in those connections than you might think. I am rather obsessed about the Kingsman film franchise and I seem to have a connection to anyone else who has a connection to it too. I have met a producer from the film randomly at Comic Con because my friend struck up a conversation and I was listening to him and I realized I had seen him so I inquired if he was in the movie and sure enough. He was one of the Kingsman agents (Director Matthew Vaughn put all of his friends from school in the flims.) I also was really connected to the character of Percival and that interest reminded me just how much I love the Grail Quest in King Arthur lore. I started looking into Glastonbury and the Chalice Well. And when I got interested in Synchronicity I wondered if Carl Jung had done any research on the Grail Knights. Well he didn't but the Grail Knights were his wife's work. She died before it was finished so Jung had Marie Louise Von Franz finish and the work was published.
I wish to create a center where people can dabble and create art and offer some workshops where my mode of inquiry and questioning is offered. I know it is not for everyone but I think there are more people out there who would be open to trying it than not. Some amazing things could happen.
Thank you for bring attention to writing and trauma. As a survivor, abuse affected almost every aspect of my life, especially my education. About 15 years ago, at age 55, I graduated college with a B.A. in writing. In my last semester, I wrote a short story for the class newsletter, which gave me the confidence that perhaps I could write one short story a month.
Each story built my confidence. A year after graduation, I applied for a Lanesboro Emerging Artist Residency Program, which offered a 4 week writing retreat. I was stunned by their response. They graded my writing, giving me a D-. That’s right. Not a D, but a D-. And the comment that burned into my brain was, “The only positive thing I can say about this writer is she can write a complete sentence.” I was insulted. Then I became angry.
I recognize I had much to learn about storytelling, and perhaps my storytelling was a C-. However grading it as if I was in grade school was unnecessary and the critique comment was unkind. Fortunately, I did not let it define me as a writer or stop me from writing. I spent the next 15 years honing my skills and I've finished my memoir. It is my hope that all such organizations will have a second set of eyes review comments before sending them out. Such harsh critiques could crush a budding writer.
Here's to your resilience, your belief, and your commitment—three crucial iingredients for a good writer. I'm so glad you didn't give up. What an unfair, cruel comment. I admire you for going beyond it.
Dear Grant, glad you are writing about this--as so many memoirists are writing about trauma and they need the tenderness and compassion you showed from their teachers/mentors. In my work and books, I talk about the need for backing off and self-care, but it is hard sometimes because at the same time that writing those tough stories is re-entering the trauma, it's also allowing the writer to name what happened for the first time, and releases energy by writing things out through the body. I point out in my book Writing Your Healing Story that we become our own witness to that younger wounded self when we write. And most of us need that desperately.
Most of all, as you point out, writers of memoir need to be listened to and witnessed by others so they stay tethered to human hearts. In that act, so much healing happens. And yes, when a teacher puts their ego above the humanity of a student's writing, terrible damage and wounding can be done. Thank you for drawing our attention to this aspect of writing that can be so challenging.
Thanks so much for your wise thoughts, Linda Joy. I haven't read your book yet, but I look forward to doing so. I love your line: "we become our own witness to that younger wounded self when we write. And most of us need that desperately." Thanks for all you do for memoirists!
In my very first grad school class, the class read my essay, and the professor called me an idiot. Everyone was totally silent as he then lambasted my writing. Granted, it wasn't a story, but 30 years later and I still remember how I felt. At least, now that I'm a teacher, I am sure that I never humiliate a student like that.
You are always kind! But I have to make a correction, just so you don't have to feel too bad. It wasn't first GRADE it was first GRAD school class. It was awful, but my first grade teacher was a sweetheart.
Thank you, Grant! Such a compassionate and thoughtful and WISE post. As a writer with a lot of trauma still working through (a life long journey) who often struggles with getting pen to the page, this post is a comfort and balm.
Hi Grant. Thank you for bringing attention to trauma and writing. Trauma is such a slippery, shapeshifting thing to me. It's invisible. It grows and then shrinks. It has a cycle. Some days are better than others. After about eight years after my dad died, I started tugging on the thread of where my grief came from and I discovered that I was born into grief as my mom was pregnant with me when her father was dying of cancer. And in fact she had me in the same hospital where he was being treated. I then went back centuries and found that I have a a 10x great grand mother who was killed during the Salem Witch Trials. Grief and trauma are like invisible participants in our lives. They can also change DNA. But as you recognized, the trauma needs to be acknowledged. And that might never happen in a person's lifetime and that's okay. My grief and trauma and pushing me in the direction of offering my experiences to others. I have been in the process of finding my voice and my words when I get into the background of my experiences. I want to offer my experience to others. Show that happy moments in the time after losing your intimate family members is possible. There is a lot to unpack. I went on a journey to find a system that would help me make sense of my life and what I found is the best system can be the one that someone creates for themselves. This particular thread led me to discovering not just one but two grad programs that can support my writing practice and help my words to be expressed.
The time we live in right now is quite interesting. There are people who are experiencing trauma and grief due to covid. My experience is comparable in that my parents both passed after illness but both were gone in the early 2010s (2010 for my mom and 2013 for my dad respectfully). I think right now I can be of assistance as people discover their 'new normal.'
Thanks so much for sharing this, Jennifer. Your description of trauma seems spot-on to me. I don't entirely believe that time heals all wounds. It's just a vessel for them to change shapes in, as you mention. Grief isn't linear, it spirals. Also, I've read about how trauma is cellular and can be passed down. Fascinating to consider. A type of ghost.
Time is timey wimey and does not heal anything. Time is also a human construct. We have to begin to consider our place in the universe and in what humans consider a timeline. And then there are some people who do not experience time linearly, either. I mean, look at Slaughterhouse 5 for a literary example. But also think about this: the act of reading a book or a story is a form of time travel. It takes you back to the moments where the author was channeling the work, to when editors were editing the work, to even when authors are revising the work even years after publication. I once saw poet Donald Hall at UCR Writers Week and he told us how he was reading a revised version of his poem. He then showed us his notated copy. Even published poems can evolve and change.
This plays interesting to trauma, grief, and our memories. What if we can revise our experiences? Affect our past selves? We spend a lot of time thinking in what ifs in the future, and what ifs in the past, but what about taking action in the present to affect both the past and the present (look at Quantum Leap (the new and old series) and Disney's Loki for examples of this in television.) Given how time is actually and not what humans think it to be. This has played into my research on Synchronicity and how it can be constructed under physics and quantum entanglement. Also when you are looking for the things that "speak" to you in your interests and what you notice in your day to day life, you may find that you have more influence in those connections than you might think. I am rather obsessed about the Kingsman film franchise and I seem to have a connection to anyone else who has a connection to it too. I have met a producer from the film randomly at Comic Con because my friend struck up a conversation and I was listening to him and I realized I had seen him so I inquired if he was in the movie and sure enough. He was one of the Kingsman agents (Director Matthew Vaughn put all of his friends from school in the flims.) I also was really connected to the character of Percival and that interest reminded me just how much I love the Grail Quest in King Arthur lore. I started looking into Glastonbury and the Chalice Well. And when I got interested in Synchronicity I wondered if Carl Jung had done any research on the Grail Knights. Well he didn't but the Grail Knights were his wife's work. She died before it was finished so Jung had Marie Louise Von Franz finish and the work was published.
I wish to create a center where people can dabble and create art and offer some workshops where my mode of inquiry and questioning is offered. I know it is not for everyone but I think there are more people out there who would be open to trying it than not. Some amazing things could happen.
Thank you for bring attention to writing and trauma. As a survivor, abuse affected almost every aspect of my life, especially my education. About 15 years ago, at age 55, I graduated college with a B.A. in writing. In my last semester, I wrote a short story for the class newsletter, which gave me the confidence that perhaps I could write one short story a month.
Each story built my confidence. A year after graduation, I applied for a Lanesboro Emerging Artist Residency Program, which offered a 4 week writing retreat. I was stunned by their response. They graded my writing, giving me a D-. That’s right. Not a D, but a D-. And the comment that burned into my brain was, “The only positive thing I can say about this writer is she can write a complete sentence.” I was insulted. Then I became angry.
I recognize I had much to learn about storytelling, and perhaps my storytelling was a C-. However grading it as if I was in grade school was unnecessary and the critique comment was unkind. Fortunately, I did not let it define me as a writer or stop me from writing. I spent the next 15 years honing my skills and I've finished my memoir. It is my hope that all such organizations will have a second set of eyes review comments before sending them out. Such harsh critiques could crush a budding writer.
Here's to your resilience, your belief, and your commitment—three crucial iingredients for a good writer. I'm so glad you didn't give up. What an unfair, cruel comment. I admire you for going beyond it.
Thank you Grant.
Dear Grant, glad you are writing about this--as so many memoirists are writing about trauma and they need the tenderness and compassion you showed from their teachers/mentors. In my work and books, I talk about the need for backing off and self-care, but it is hard sometimes because at the same time that writing those tough stories is re-entering the trauma, it's also allowing the writer to name what happened for the first time, and releases energy by writing things out through the body. I point out in my book Writing Your Healing Story that we become our own witness to that younger wounded self when we write. And most of us need that desperately.
Most of all, as you point out, writers of memoir need to be listened to and witnessed by others so they stay tethered to human hearts. In that act, so much healing happens. And yes, when a teacher puts their ego above the humanity of a student's writing, terrible damage and wounding can be done. Thank you for drawing our attention to this aspect of writing that can be so challenging.
Thanks so much for your wise thoughts, Linda Joy. I haven't read your book yet, but I look forward to doing so. I love your line: "we become our own witness to that younger wounded self when we write. And most of us need that desperately." Thanks for all you do for memoirists!
This is so lovely. Thank you, Grant.
In my very first grad school class, the class read my essay, and the professor called me an idiot. Everyone was totally silent as he then lambasted my writing. Granted, it wasn't a story, but 30 years later and I still remember how I felt. At least, now that I'm a teacher, I am sure that I never humiliate a student like that.
It's so painful to read about a teacher calling a first-grade student an idiot. I'm so sorry.
You are always kind! But I have to make a correction, just so you don't have to feel too bad. It wasn't first GRADE it was first GRAD school class. It was awful, but my first grade teacher was a sweetheart.
Oh, well, that helps a little bit. It's still bad, but thank God it wasn't your first grade teacher.